that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
