is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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