I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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