how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
