weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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