after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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