i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
