Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
