I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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