do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
