dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
