I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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