Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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