Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
