You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.