I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?