dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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