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• (512): View more from Texas

  I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...

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• (909): View more from California

  Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (276): View more from Virginia

  Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.

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