i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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