At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
