thus making me awesome and them whores
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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