Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
