i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
