It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
