You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
