I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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