I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize