sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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