another moral hangover. fuck.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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