i would punch a child for taco bell
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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