brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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