I will die if light touches me.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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