he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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