Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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