I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
