Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize