i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
