Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
