You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
she looked like the before picture.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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