five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
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