Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
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I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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