I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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