Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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