why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
