ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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