I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize