i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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