Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
50% drunk capacity currently
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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