My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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