Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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