thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
