Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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