Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
