I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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