Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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