my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
