had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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