I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
