Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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