seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
