Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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