let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
