If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
