woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Come on in and take your pants off
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