he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
