That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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