I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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