K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
