ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this boner is exhausting
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
